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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22712158">WIP</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_castiel/pseuds/wayward_castiel'>wayward_castiel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:20:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,584</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22712158</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayward_castiel/pseuds/wayward_castiel</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>WIP</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean wiped the sweat off his top brow successfully smudging oil across his forehead. Cas smirked as he walked into the garage. “You got a little something.” Cas pointed to Dean’s forehead. Dean grabbed an old rag and whipped his forehead, successfully making the smudge larger.</p><p>“So, what’s the big news?” Cas said getting straight to the point.  Deans facial expression immediately turned into one full of worry. “Dean, what’s wrong?” </p><p>“Nothing, it’s just Sam’s coming home.” Cas tilted his head slightly. “And?” </p><p>Dean sat on the bonnet of the car he was working on.  He had been working in his uncle’s garage ever since he finished school. He considered it the family business. What he loved about his job was, people would leave him their broken car for him to fix and when he did, they were gone, and he didn’t have to worry about them anymore.</p><p>“He uh- he dropped out of college.” Cas was shocked. He had known the Winchesters since Dean left school and he knew how much Sam longed to go to college, he knew about the fights he had with his father and how John told him to never return if he wasn’t going to stay close. “Is he okay?” Cas knew something must be wrong, he knew Sam wouldn’t throw away his future so carelessly. </p><p>“He’s, uh, well he said he’s sick. But it’s weird.” Dean replied. </p><p>“Weird how?” Cas asked. Cas was already planning on curing Sam when he came home.</p><p>“I don’t think I shouldn’t be talking about it. It’s sort of Sam’s thing, you know?” Dean said not sure how Cas would react if he heard the stuff Sam had been telling him. </p><p>“Dean,” Cas sat next to Dean on the hood of the car. “Why did you call me?”</p><p>Dean thought for a moment. “I guess I wanted to talk.” Cas smiled. “Then talk. I think I can handle a little weird.”</p><p>Dean scoffed, of course he could tell Cas whatever, he was his best friend and he already knew everything. </p><p>“He said something about visions,” Dean paused and began remembering his phone call with Sam.</p><p>He hesitated before he asked, “Do you believe in the supernatural?” Dean looked to Cas. </p><p>“Yeah.” Cas sighed. He wanted so badly to tell Dean who he was, what he is, but decided against it as he figured now was not the time. </p><p>It never seemed to be the best time. Cas had been putting it off for years now telling himself he’s just waiting for the right moment. But really, he was scared. Scared that Dean wouldn’t accept him. He wasn’t prepared to lose his best friend, and he still had orders to follow from his superiors. Maybe now was as good a time as any.</p><p>“Dean, can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?” Cas said as he looked down at his hands, noticing they were getting clammy.</p><p>Dean hopped off the bonnet and began putting away some tools. “Of course, what’s on your mind?”</p><p>Just as Cas was about to open his mouth and confess Deans phone rang loudly and, those six words that would inevitable set Cas free, died in his throat. “It’s Sam. You don’t mind if I answer?”</p><p>Cas gave him a weak smile “No, not at all, go ahead. I have to go anyway, I’ll talk to you later.” He turned and walked out the garage. He was stupid. He couldn’t tell Dean yet, he had so much going on right now.</p><p>But Castiel was running out of time, it was starting. Maybe he should tell Sam first, he might be more understanding.</p><p> </p><p>“Dean!” Sam called as he climbed out of the tiny taxi and ran towards his big brother. </p><p>“Damn it Sammy, did you get taller?” He said wrapping his arms around his brother.</p><p> </p><p>Sam had been home for just over a week and he hasn’t had any ‘nightmare-visions’, Dean was beginning to think he just wanted to drop out of college and was using this as a cover up.</p><p>“Hey Dean” Sam called as he strolled into the kitchen.</p><p>“Morning Sammy,” Dean watched as Sam went to get himself some cereal.</p><p>“Do you have any idea how bad these are for you?” Sam asked picking up a box of Deans favourite cereal.</p><p>Dean shrugged his shoulders. He knew they were bad for him, but he didn’t care, he was young and healthy, why deny himself of the simple pleasure of a delicious breakfast.</p><p>“So, I haven’t seen Cas in months, is he still around?” Sam asked keeping an eye on Dean to see his reaction. </p><p>“Yeah, he’s around. I think” Dean hadn’t seen Cas since the day Sam came home. Of course, Dean tried to call him, but it either went to voicemail or said, ‘user busy’, one time Cas accidentally answered the phone, but he had hung up as soon as he heard Deans voice on the other end. Dean knew Cas was avoiding him, he just didn’t know why.</p><p>“You think?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow. “Are you not talking to each other anymore?”</p><p>“We are,” Dean answered quickly. “I just haven’t seen him in a few days.”</p><p>“Huh, maybe I should call him.” Sam said finishing his cereal and pulling out his phone.</p><p>Dean rolled his eyes. “He won’t answer, I tried that already.”</p><p>“shush” Sam said waiting for Cas to pick up. It wasn’t long before he did.</p><p>“Hello? Cas?” Sam said as Deans mouth dropped. He was angry at Cas, but he was also relieved, that he was okay.</p><p>“H-how did you know?” Sam stuttered looking over to Dean.</p><p>Dean had forgot to tell Sam that he had told Cas about his visions.</p><p>There was a long pause before Sam shouted. “What?”</p><p>His face got noticeably paler and his hands began to shake.</p><p>“Cas if this is you trying to be funny then-” he stopped. Dean waited eagerly to find out what was being said.</p><p>“Okay, I’ll see you in five.” Sam said before hanging up the phone. He didn’t say anything, he just stood there, his face drained.</p><p>“Sam are you okay?” Dean said placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder.</p><p>“Yeah” he breathed. “Cas is coming over, he has to explain.” Sam didn’t look at Dean. He slowly tore his eyes from the spot he was so fixated with earlier and turned to Dean. “Dean where’s dad?”</p><p>Dean’s eyebrows knitted together. “He’s on a business trip, you know that.” He placed a hand on his little brother’s shoulder. “Come on sit down.” He walked his brother to the living room and they waited for Cas.</p><p>Castiel let himself in two minutes later. He made his way to the living room and took a seat across from the boys.</p><p>Nobody spoke for a while, the silence was loud, then Cas decided he would break it.</p><p>“Demons are real.” Cas said bluntly. He immediately regretted it. Maybe he should have broken it in slower? </p><p>Both Winchesters just stared at him. </p><p>“Are you high?” Dean asked, his eyes wide.</p><p>“What? No, of course not.” Cas answered.</p><p>He looked over to Sam who didn’t look like he was in shock, his face instead showed fear.</p><p>“Listen, these visions you’re having- Sam, something big is happening, and you’re going to be a big part of it.” Cas said.</p><p>“How do you know?” Dean asked. “Are you some kind of demon messenger?” Dean mocked, still not believing what Cas was saying.</p><p>Cas chuckled slightly at Deans choice of words. “No, I am an-” He stopped himself, He didn’t know if he should tell them, he was worried they wouldn’t believe them, he was afraid of losing them.</p><p>“I’m a hunter.” He said, at least hunters are human. “Like your father.”</p><p>“Dad? As in John Winchester?” Dean asked. “He doesn’t hunt demons he’s a business man, the only thing that man hunts are deer on a Sunday!”</p><p>Cas nodded his head slightly. “And what sort of work does he do for his ‘business’? Have you ever seen any paperwork?” Cas asked the boys.</p><p>“Dean, I think he’s telling the truth.” Sam said turning to Dean. </p><p>“How could this be true Sam? Demons, hunters, Dad being a hunter and never telling us, you somehow being a ‘big part’ in it.” Dean rambled.</p><p>“Dean,” Sam interrupted. “Dad has a stash of knives, crosses, holy water and a shit load of guns in the impala boot. It’s not that insane.”</p><p>“It’s a hobby.” Dean argued. He knew that the knives and guns might seem strange, but he had asked john about it before and he promised there was nothing to worry about. Now he was just supposed to believe his father had somehow managed to hide this whole crazy part of his life. </p><p>It all suddenly made sense, the random bruises, the scars that were never properly explained. Dean suddenly felt quite stupid for not questioning his father sooner. “What do you do?” Dean asked not looking up from his hands. </p><p>“Uh, we kill supernatural beings, well the bad ones” Cas was glad he hadn’t mentioned he was a celestial being “I don’t work with John, he doesn’t know I’m a hunter.” He added hoping Dean wouldn’t feel like they had been lying to him together. </p><p>“Something big is coming, it’s bigger than us so it’s important we are prepared and honest” Cas said directing his attention to Sam. “John knows what these visions could mean, and I expect him to return with Bobby, they’ll explain more than I can.”</p><p>The room was quite Sam and Dean both trying to wrap their heads around the information Cas was willing to share. Cas knew the boys were strong and he knew they would rise to whatever God had in store for them, but he was afraid of losing them. He knew it was a possibility that they wouldn’t survive, but he knew they had an angel looking out for them. </p><p>After he got over the original shock that everything he had been seeing for the last few weeks were true Sam started to ask Castiel questions about hunting. The angel was happy to answer with what he had seen hunters do passing the information off as first hand. Dean however was quite the entire time, Cas knew he was listening but on occasion he noticed he was staring at him. </p><p>After about an hour of asking questions Sam announced he needed to take a walk.</p><p>When Cas heard the front door close he moved to sit on the couch next to Dean. He nudged his side with his elbow “You can ask me whatever you want.” Cas tried but Dean still wouldn’t look at him. </p><p>Cas sighed. This is what he feared once he felt himself become close to Dean. He knew that once he found out the truth (or in this case some of the truth) he would shut him out. “I’m sorry, I’ve wanted to tell you for some time, but it felt selfish of me to burden you with all this.” Cas copied Deans stance and looked down at his hands which rested on his lap.</p><p>He felt Dean shift next to him on the couch. He was now facing Cas with a concerned look on his face. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had Cas. You can tell me anything you know that, right?” Cas nodded. “I just- It’s hard to think you’ve had this whole other life you know, killing things it seems so unlike you. I can see it in my dad, but-” Dean scoffed. “God, I feel so damn stupid” </p><p>Cas placed his hand on Deans forearm “Don’t. You’re not. You deserved to know the truth from the beginning. I was afraid you wouldn’t want anything to do with me.” He rubbed his thumb slowly over Deans freckled skin.</p><p>“That would never happen Cas.” He said in almost a whisper. The moment felt so intimate Cas wanted to reach out and touch his cheeks, he wanted to wrap Dean in his arms tell him the whole truth and promise him he’d protect him from whatever was to come. </p><p>The front door opened and broke the moment. John, Sam and Bobby filed into the living room. Bobby eyes shifted immediately to Cas. “What’s he doing here?”</p><p>“He’s a hunter too.” Dean said flatly. John sat down across from him his full attention on Dean. </p><p>“Listen here boy, you can be pissed all you want that we never told you, but you need to get your head out of your ass and realise the big picture. This is bigger than us.” John said echoing Cas’ words from before. This only made Dean angrier. Why was everyone being so vague. </p><p>“What is this big terrible thing we should be looking forward to huh? Five-dollar gas? The apocalypse? The Devil himself?” He said half joking but when he saw the looks everyone was giving each other his mouth fell slack. “The Devil?! Lucifer? This has to be a joke.”</p><p> “Sorry son.” Bobby said. “Since when do you hunt?” He asked Cas. </p><p>“Uh- I’ve known it my entire life, my family spent a lot of their time researching creatures.” It wasn’t a complete lie he settled. Judging by the look Bobby was giving him he wasn’t buying it. </p><p>“Right well we better start going through the books, find out what makes those idjit angels tick.” Bobby announced. </p><p>“Angels?” Sam and Dean questioned at the same time. </p><p>“Keep up boys” John laughed.</p><p>Cas got up and sat next to Bobby taking one of the old leather-bound books he had brought with him. “There are 66 seals that need to be broken before Lucifer can be let free. The reason Sam has been experiencing these visions is because the seals are beginning to break. A demon named Ruby-”</p><p>“I know her” Sam cut in and all eyes turned to him. “Well I don’t know her. I’ve seen her.” He clarified. </p><p>“Right, yes, she and Lilith are working together to open up the cage.” Cas finished. </p><p>Dean got up off the couch to grab a book from the table. “Why don’t the angels just come down and stop them? I don’t see why it should be left up to a few humans. I mean if they’re real surely they have a better chance at stopping the devil than we do.”</p><p>“It’s God’s plan. Angels by nature are obedient, they will let the events happen as they are written.” Cas supplied, a line he had been thought since he was brought into existence.</p><p>Bobby raised his eyebrows. “Your family really were into research, huh.”</p><p> </p><p>The boys spent the rest of the night reading through Bobby’s old books learning more about all these apparent real creatures.</p><p>John and Bobby were surprised by all the information Castiel knew. </p><p>The next day they decided was going to be their first hunt together. Just a simple ‘salt and burn’ case as John had called it. They left earlier in the morning and all squeezed into the impala. Dean sat between Cas and Sam in the back seat while John insisted he drive. </p><p>Cas was concerned about Dean, he hadn’t said much since the day before and he seemed as though he didn’t want to speak to Cas. Sam on the other had never seemed to run out of questions. </p><p>The case was simple. Castiel was satisfied, Sam and Dean both worked well and fearlessly. As they pulled into a diner just outside of Lawrence Castiel heard a ringing he hadn’t heard in a while. He put his hand to his temple and rubbed it gently. </p><p>“24 seals have broken. We can hear Lucifer’s calls. Heaven will be lost.” He heard an array of voices calling out all seemed panicked, until a louder, clearer voice announced. “The Winchesters have risen.” </p><p>“You okay buddy?” Dean asked from beside him. </p><p>“Yeah just a little tired is all.” He responded. He knew he’d be called to heaven soon to give an update as to what the Winchesters know. “Do you mind if I skip out on the diner, I think I’ll just get a taxi home.”</p><p>Deans eyebrows furrowed, “Are you sure man? We can just drive you home if you’re that tired.” He offered. Castiel felt bad for lying to Dean, angels didn’t even need to sleep. </p><p>“No, I’m fine. You go and celebrate your first successful hunt.” Cas offered with a smile.</p><p>“Okay if you’re sure, I’ll call you a cab.” Dean said reaching his phone and searching for the taxi number. </p><p>“There’s no need I can call one.” Cas had been planning on just flying back to his house.</p><p>“I’ve already got the number. I’ll wait with you in case you get mugged.” Dean joked, a smirk lifting one side of his lips. He looked a little uncomfortable as one hand reached up to the back of his neck and the other searched for the cab number. Suddenly he found it and raised the phone to his ear and gave the driver their address. Once he was finished his eyes stayed trained on his phone. </p><p>Cas was glad to able to spend a few minutes alone with Dean. </p><p>“You’re a good hunter Dean, it comes naturally to you and your brother I can see it.”</p><p> “I’m scared Cas,” He whispered and if Castiel wasn’t standing so close to him he probably would have missed it. “I mean, it’s real. It’s very very real. What am I supposed to do?”</p><p>Cas felt his chest strain for his friend. He had been praying that this would never happen since the day he met the Winchesters. </p><p>“You’ll know what to do. When the time comes, you’ll just know. Trust me.” He gave his friend a half-hearted smile, the sadness still evident in his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>Castiel paced around his house, waiting for the eventual call from his superiors. He looked at all his belongings he acquired over the years. When he first moved to earth, he felt no need to purchase anything that wasn’t essential to survive as a human. Once he invited the Winchesters over they were quick to point out that he had clearly not unpacked yet. He had no clothes, no food, no towels and he had quickly thought of a lie saying his belongings got delayed. That evening after the boys had left he went out to buy some things to make the house look normal. </p><p>At first, he just bought stuff so he wouldn’t seem strange, but the more time he spent on earth the more often he would find himself wanting to buy stuff he would enjoy. </p><p>His home now consisted of many books, (so much so he ran out of space on his two book selves and ended up stacking them against the walls) also gifts from the friends he made, DVD’s he bought so he could watch with Dean and records which were stored neatly under the record player Sam bought him for Christmas two years ago because ‘everything sounds better on vinyl” </p><p>He knew he wouldn’t have long left on earth. Even if they survived the war heaven wouldn’t need him on Earth anymore. He would have to return to his brothers and sisters no matter how much he wanted to stay. </p><p>He was dragged out of his thoughts by the fluttering of wings behind him. He wasn’t surprised to see Uriel when he turned around.</p><p>“Why are you here? I was expected to be called up.” Cas snapped, he felt angry, but he couldn’t understand why. </p><p>“Raphael is busy. 2 seals have been broken, give me an update on the Winchesters. I understand they have been briefed.” Uriel was always the model solider. He was often blunt and straight-forward, like angels should be.</p><p>“They have been informed, yes. Their father and friend brought them on their first hunt and I accompanied them. They were calm and collected. I have faith in them, they can handle this.” Uriel squinted his eyes at Castiel. </p><p>“I don’t need you to have faith Castiel, I need you to be certain they are prepared, understand?” </p><p>“Yes sir.”</p><p>And just as quickly as he came he was gone.</p><p>Cas retreated to his bedroom and lied down on his bed. Something he had bought to look normal, obviously he had no need for it, but sometimes he would lie in it and pretend he could sleep. He closed his eyes and sent a dead letter to his father.</p><p> </p><p>It had been two months since Sam and Dean had been told the truth. The were constantly going out on hunts and Castiel found little reason to go with them anymore. They really were naturals. Uriel had visited him again about a month ago ordering him to devote his time to researching Ruby and Lilith. The Winchesters didn’t need his help anymore. </p><p>He hadn’t seen them properly in weeks, he often called or texted giving them information. Dean tried to call him at least once a day letting him know he was safe, but obviously Castiel already knew that. Sometimes he would visit them while they were sleeping in random motels just to see them and really make sure they were okay. </p><p>One night when he visited them he noticed Dean was unsettled. He tossed and turned his brows furrowing and his fists clenching. He couldn’t help his actions, he placed himself into Deans dream to find out what was bothering his friend.</p><p>He found himself tied to a chair in some old warehouse, he saw Dean across from him gun in his trembling hands, his eyes focused on something to the right of Cas. He turned his head and saw Sam who was also tied. A woman with wiry silver hair held a knife to Sam’s exposed neck. The fear Dean felt almost suffocated Castiel. He was in a helpless situation. </p><p>Castiel teleported from his position on the chair to right behind the woman. He placed his palm on her scalp and suddenly the knife dropped, and her body lit up, there was a loud scream then it was over. </p><p>He looked up at Dean expected to see relief but instead he found a gun held in trembling hands pointed at him. </p><p>“Who- What did you do to Cas you bastard?!” Dean demanded. Castiel was impressed by how strong his voice sounded. </p><p>“It’s me Dean. Please calm down, we’re all safe now.” Castiel tried to reason. </p><p>“Yeah right, since when did you develop all these superpowers? Demon.” Dean said still aiming the gun right between Castiel’s eyebrows.</p><p>Cas shrugged his shoulders. Dean was dreaming he might as well come clean. “I’m an angel of the Lord.” Those damned six words he was so afraid to tell Dean. There was a flash of light and Castiel showed his wings to his friend. He knew this wasn’t real, but it still terrified him.</p><p>Dean’s eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Whoa, are you serious?” the gun lowered slightly, and Cas felt relived. </p><p>“Yes, Dean this is really me. Is that okay with you?” Cas asked eyes flicking over to where Sam was still seated. He showed no emotion because of course this was Deans dream and Deans mind was currently preoccupied. </p><p>The gun raised again so quickly he barely had time to react before the bullet was piercing his skin and Dean jolted awake. </p><p>Dean had sweat above his brow and luckily Cas had been quick enough to vanish before he looked around the room. </p><p>He went back to his own house. He lied down on his bed and stared at the plain ceiling. </p><p>He shot me.</p><p>He doesn’t want me.</p><p>He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the pain he felt in his heart. He tried to convince himself it was just some sort of after shock from being shot in the heart. But he knew that the bullet wouldn’t affect him. </p><p>He was an Angel. </p><p>The pain was emotional, but he denied it.</p><p>I’m an Angel of the Lord. </p><p> </p><p>Dean woke up with a start. He was sitting up, but his body felt frozen. </p><p>“Dean? What is it?” Sam’s tired voice came from beside him.</p><p>Dean managed to move his head to face his little brother. “I- it’s nothing just a freaky dream.” He shook his head and willed his body to move him to the bathroom. </p><p>He stared at his reflection in the mirror.</p><p>It felt so real, Cas was so real. I’m going crazy.</p><p>He made his way back to his bed and reached for his phone. He contemplated calling his best friend but decided against it, the guy was probably sleeping. </p><p>The room was silent, the only sound was Sam’s soft snoring.</p><p>I should call him just to make sure he’s okay.</p><p>Why wouldn’t he be? It was a dream.</p><p>For some reason he had a feeling he should check on Cas, just in case.</p><p>He silently slipped out of the room and dialled his number.</p><p>“Hello?” Cas almost groaned on the other side of the line.</p><p>Dean let go of the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding. Clearly, he had just woken his friend up, he was safe. It was just a dream.</p><p>“Hey bud, what’s up?” He asked rolling on the balls of his feet.</p><p>“Dean, it’s 3:47 am, you hardly called me just to ask what’s up?” and Dean smiled he could basically hear Cas’ eyeroll. </p><p>“Yeah, sorry for waking you, I just had a freaky dream about- well, it doesn’t matter what it was about, I just thought I’d make sure you were okay. You know, because of Sam’s visions coming true, you never know… but you’re okay now and that’s all that matters. You can go back to sleep.”</p><p>He knew he was rambling, but he was just relieved Cas was okay. </p><p>Cas sighed, and Dean heard him shift on what sounded like a bed.</p><p>“It’s okay, you can call me whenever Dean, I can handle a little sleep loss. So, how’s the case?”</p><p>“Well, it’s different than usual, even Bobby is stumped.”</p><p>“Different how?”</p><p>“Well, all the vics eyes were burnt out with no sign of struggle, no bites, just a bunch of burnt people.”</p><p>“It’s Angels” Cas blurted and regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.</p><p>“Angels? Why would the angels be killing people?” He wasn’t expecting Cas to be able to help, hell, every book and hunter he asked couldn’t tell him jack squat. </p><p>“I don’t know.” Castiel lied. “Where are you?” He asked, as if he hadn’t just been watching Dean sleep a few minutes ago.</p><p>“Uh, Waterville Maine. You gonna come up?” Dean asked hopefully, it had been weeks since he had seen Cas. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but he longed to just have a movie night with Cas, sat on his couch teasing him for his lack of pop culture understanding. </p><p>“I’ll see what I can do. You should get some rest Dean. I’ll call you later.”</p><p>“Will you?” As soon as the words left Deans mouth, he regretted them. He knew Cas was busy and couldn’t be with Dean all the time, but it hurt just the same whenever Dean called to see how his best friend was doing and only received bare minimum details about a case or a simple ‘I’m fine, Dean’. </p><p>He heard Cas sigh. “Of course, I will Dean. Goodnight.” Dean huffed and looked down at his screen saver. A picture of himself and Cas taking during a weekend spent in California on a visit to Sam. He gave it a sad smile and returned into the motel room.</p><p> </p><p>“So, the Angels are killing Demons? Sounds like the opposite of a problem, we should just ditch town and let them handle it themselves.” Dean suggested over his cup of coffee. Cas had called earlier to let them know what he thought was going on, he of course was busy and couldn’t meet the boys.</p><p>“Dean, why are they here now, all of a sudden? It’s a bit strange isn’t it?” Sam said taking a big gulp of his green smoothie. Dean grimaced, he couldn’t understand why his brother tortured himself so early in the morning. </p><p>“What?” Sam asked squinting at his brother. Deans eyes darted to the green juice which was now placed between them. “Shut up, dude.” Sam said rolling his eyes. He knew he wouldn’t be having heart problems before the age of 30.</p><p>“So,” Sam coughed to clear his throat and Dean already knew he wasn’t going to like whatever came next. “What’s the deal with Cas?”</p><p>“What about him?”</p><p>“Well, me and Bobby and Dad have been thinking about if we can trust him.” His eyes looking anywhere but at Dean.</p><p>“What do you mean? Of course, you can trust him, it’s Cas.” Dean said, his brother must be crazy. Cas was the most trust worthy man Dean knew. “You think he’s some sort of spy?” he laughed at the idea. “Cas tells me everything man, I trust him with my life.” </p><p>It was true, Dean did trust Cas with his life. He told him everything. From the moment they met they just hit it off. Instant friends. </p><p>“He doesn’t tell you everything Dean.” Sam’s gaze was confident and challenging as his looked right at Dean. And this time it was Dean who couldn’t look his brother in the eye. </p><p>Sure, Cas had lied about probably one of the biggest details of his life. But he had a good reason to, like he said he didn’t want to freak Dean out telling him stuff he couldn’t understand. Dean could live with that explanation, at first, he was angry, and he felt betrayed but when he thought about it, he would’ve done the same. </p><p>“C’mon Sammy, you know why he couldn’t tell me. Like I would’ve believed him if he had come up to me and said during The Exorcist all the things they did wrong, and he knew because that’s what he does for a living.”</p><p> “Right, well all I’m saying is it’s a bit sketchy, I mean how well do we really know the guy. He never speaks about his family, growing up even. Do you even know what he does for money?” Sam asked, looking down at his juice. Cas was his friend too, he hated that he doubted him so much but, he couldn’t help but wonder who the guy really was.</p><p>Dean grinded his teeth and tried not to yell at his brother. This was Cas, his clueless Cas. As if the man had some ulterior motive, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. “He does speak ‘bout his family actually, he said he had a big family, they didn’t talk much anymore but they always had each other’s backs. Because that’s the kind of guy Cas is. He makes a living off editing and reviewing novels for a little publishing company back in Lawrence. And he definitely doesn’t deserve to be second guessed behind his back.” Dean pushed his chair back and stormed out into the impala.</p><p>He didn’t know why he was so upset. Sure, Sam didn’t know Cas as well as Dean did, but it still bothered him that his family didn’t trust him. He sat in the impala and waited for Sam to come out, because no matter how angry he was he wasn’t about to ditch his brother at a diner in Maine.</p><p> </p><p>The incident at the diner wasn’t the last Dean had heard about how trustworthy Cas was.</p><p>He wasn’t surprised, John never really warmed up to Cas. Bobby on the other hand would often tell Dean he was glad he had found a good friend. But either way, both men thought it their duty to question Deans trust every time they got him alone. </p><p>It didn’t help that every time Dean called his friend, he was always busy and could never chat for too long. Every time he asked if Cas wanted to hang out, he would get a response akin to, ‘I have a lot going on maybe next time’, but the next time came and Castiel was still occupied. </p><p>Before all this demon apocalypse crap Cas never said no to Dean, he was never too busy to watch a movie or go for a walk. </p><p>He hates himself for it, but he can’t help but doubt his friend too. </p><p>‘How does he know so much about angels, Dean?’</p><p>Dean didn’t know. When he asked, Cas said he was named after one, it was his families’ specialty. Which made sense, right?</p><p>‘Why has he stopped answering your calls?’</p><p>He’s busy. All hunters are busy, it’s the fucking apocalypse. Castiel is especially busy because he’s an angel specialist. Yeah, that sounds about right.</p><p>‘Why did he know all that stuff about Sam? Stuff we had never even told him?’ </p><p>Cas obviously just-, he probably-. He didn’t know. Dean couldn’t explain that one. Sometimes Cas spoke about visions Sam hadn’t told anyone about. He knew things he shouldn’t, and it didn’t add up. And Dean was beginning to feel betrayed all over again. He was hyper aware of every little thing Cas said trying to decipher if it was true or not. </p><p>But Dean felt guilty. Talking about Cas like this, behind his back, making assumptions, it didn’t seem right. He hadn’t seen Cas properly in over 4 months, the last update he got was a simple text which read “52 Seals”. </p><p>They were losing the fight, they knew that. But they didn’t give up. </p><p>The angels hardly helped, and the Winchester-Singer crew felt alone.</p><p>The fact they were losing and there was no hope left might have been what sprung Dean into making a surprise visit to Cas one night.</p><p> </p><p>As he made his way up Castiel’s driveway he noticed a woman standing in Cas’ living room. She had long red hair and a slim physique. She was gripping onto Castiel’s forearm speaking with what looked like urgency. </p><p>So Castiel had a girl over. Maybe that’s why he had been acting strange. Dean didn’t know any of Cas’ friends, he never brought them over, so this was a first. Dean felt his chest tighten with- what? Jealousy? He felt like a child for thinking it but maybe he was jealous that his best friend had other friends too.</p><p>Dean thought now is as good a time as any to introduce himself to Cas’ mystery friend. So, he continued walking up to the front door. </p><p>He knocked twice and waited for Cas to open the door.</p><p>“Dean?” Cas said, his brow furrowed in confusion.</p><p>“Yep, Hi Cas, I know it has been a while but it’s still true, I am this handsome in real life.” Dean attempted to joke. He hadn’t seen Cas smile in months, and he missed it. But apparently, he wasn’t going to see it today either.</p><p>“Right.” Cas’ eyes flited behind him to check his living room. </p><p>“Well aren’t you gonna let me in man?” Dean smiled at Cas.</p><p>“I- Uh, no sorry. I was about to head to bed. Long day.” Cas’ blue eyes couldn’t meet Deans’ and he knew instantly he was being lied to. “I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, goodnight Dean”</p><p>And that was it, the door was closed in his face. He walked back out to his car and as he turned back, he noticed all the lights were turned off. His heart pulled at him again, imagining Cas hiding away from him with another friend.</p><p>Well Dean could take the hint. </p><p> </p><p>Cas was sitting in his living room listening to one of the records John Winchester had bought him, because “If you’re gonna be listening to music you might as well listen to good music.” </p><p>Cas thought back to that Christmas, it was the first year he allowed himself to accept Deans invitation to join his family to celebrate. </p><p>He smiled, thinking back to the weeks before Christmas when he had to come up with ideas for everyone. </p><p>“Bourbon and Whiskey for John and Bobby, and I don’t know something nerdy for Sam. He likes true crimes maybe a book? And don’t worry about getting me anything. There’s nothing I don’t have that I need.” Dean gave Cas a sly smile and winked. He tried not to blush, not to think about Dean that way. How intimate this felt. Walking together looking for presents to make the people they love happy. It was so human it almost hurt.</p><p>But of course, that’s what it was. A human occasion, followed by human emotions, which he couldn’t feel. Shouldn’t feel. </p><p>He was here to watch the boys, guide them to their fate.</p><p>His cause was just because the order came from heaven.</p><p>Who was he to question it? </p><p>Was he questioning it?</p><p>He always tried not to think of his mission when he was with the Winchesters. He just wanted to be Cas. The strange guy next door who doesn’t understand half of Deans references. Not Castiel the wholly solider who follows every order to a fault.</p><p>“Thank you, Sam, Dean.” Cas said accepting his gift, a vintage looking record player. “It’s beautiful.” He could tell he was smiling too much; his cheeks were beginning to hurt. But he enjoyed the pain, it was the first time he had felt such joy. </p><p>A record from John, ‘A Guide to Beekeeping’ book from Bobby, (apparently, he had mentioned the importance of bees to Bobby more than a few times.), and record player from Sam and Dean.</p><p>He felt like he belonged there, and even though he knew it wasn’t forever he pretended it would be just for that day. </p><p>Later that day Dean walked him home from Bobby’s, he only lived a few houses away, but it was far enough that Dean didn’t seem strange for walking him there.</p><p>“I got you something else, it’s uh nothing much.” Dean said as they reached Castiel’s home.</p><p>He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cassette tape labelled, ‘Deans Top 13 Traxx’. Castiel’s face broke into another large grin as he accepted the gift.</p><p>“Thank you, Dean.” He said, and before he knew what he was doing he pulled Dean into a hug. He panicked once he realised what he was doing, but, once he realised Dean wasn’t pushing him away or punching him in the face, he let himself enjoy the moment, cherish the moment and remember how it feels.</p><p>“You’re welcome, Cas.” Dean slowly pulled back letting his hands linger on Cas’ arms and Cas allowed himself this delicacy. </p><p>“Goodnight, Dean.”</p><p>The sound of fluttering wings ripped Castiel from his memories. He turned to see an angel he hadn’t seen in years. An angel who should be locked away in one of heavens prison cells, and not here on earth. </p><p>“Who sent you?” Castiel asked, his tone cold and his eyes fierce. </p><p>“Sent me?” The red headed angel took a step closer to Castiel. “Nobody sent me, Castiel. I escaped.”</p><p>Castiel rolled his eyes at that, a mannerism that was wholly human, but he found it fitting for this very situation. “Nobody escapes heaven, sister. If nobody has sent you then you can leave, I don’t wish to speak with you.”</p><p>“Castiel, you have to listen to me.” The intruder spoke.</p><p>“Why would I listen to you, Anna” Castiel countered, he glared at her sister trying to figure out what her motive was.</p><p>“Because brother, I know what you’re feeling.” Her eyes stared into his, trying to convey how important this was. Castiel could see that. Castiel also knew how he felt but he dreaded to think that Anna knew. “Why are you doing this to them? You’re lying to them, and you know it’s wrong. You can feel it.”</p><p>Castiel stood ready to defend himself against this deviant angel. “Who are we to question the will of God?”</p><p>Anna stood higher trying to match her brother’s height, but even in their true form he stood taller. “Unless this isn’t his will.”</p><p>“Then where did the orders come from?” Castiel could feel himself getting angry. He could feel his emotions begin to slip. The questions he’d told himself not to ask were ringing in his head. </p><p>Anna took another step towards the angel and with a final burst of rage she said “You think this is what He wants? You think He’d ask this of you? Of them? You think this is righteous?” She saw Castiel’s eyes dart to focus on the fireplace where the flames were casting an orange glow across the room. </p><p>She took her final step to close the gap and placed her hands on his arms to urge him to face her. “What you’re feeling is called doubt. These orders are wrong, and you know it, together we can-” Castiel’s eyes squint at that.</p><p>“Together?” He almost growled. “I am nothing like you Anna, you have fallen, and I-” His speech was cut off my a knock on the front door. He briefly considered ignoring it, but he then realised his curtains were left open and whoever was at the door had probably already seen he was home.</p><p>He gave Anna one last glare and ordered her to stay put as he went to open the door.</p><p>He was expecting a neighbour maybe complaining about the shouting or somebody trying to sell him something. He was not expecting, “Dean?” </p><p>Last he spoke to Dean he was two states over. Granted that wasn’t the last time Castiel had seen Dean. He still made sure to check on the boys, ‘for heaven’s sake’. He missed the man’s smile and he was over joyed that the human still considered him a friend even after he had been basically avoiding him for the last few months. </p><p>“Yep, hi Cas, I know it has been a while but it’s still true, I am this handsome in real life.” Dean attempted to joke. Castiel noticed the slight pink blush which emerged beneath his freckles.</p><p>At this point the angel wanted to smile back at his friend and invite him in to sit on his couch and talk about nothing, but instead he remembered he had another visitor in his living room. One he wished Dean would never have to cross paths with. So Castiel replied with, “Right.” </p><p>“Well aren’t you gonna let me in man?” Dean smiled at Cas and his head started spinning.</p><p>“I- Uh, no sorry. I was about to head to bed. Long day. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, goodnight Dean” Castiel could never say no to Dean and he promised at that moment he will apologise to his friend later about what he was about to do next.</p><p>He closed the door in his best friend’s face, with a little more force than what was necessary. But he couldn’t help it he was angry, and he still had Anna in his living room.</p><p>When he returned, he found Anna leaning against the record player that had finished playing its song. “Cas I-” She began.</p><p>Castiel wasn’t sure if it was his confusion about his emotions, the fact he had just lied to the Dean or the use of his human given nickname, but he knew he couldn’t do this any longer. “Go.” He said to Anna and she did, seeing the rage in her brothers’ eyes and his erratic emotions she decided she’d be safer to listen to him for once.</p><p>Castiel had to go see the only angel who he could trust to give him true advice. He just had to find him first.</p><p> </p><p>When Dean returned to Bobby’s house he was met with Bobby and Sam sitting at the dining room table.</p><p>“Well, that was a quick visit.” Sam said and even though Dean knew he meant no malice by it, it didn’t hurt him any less.</p><p>He grunted a response and made his way to the fridge to grab a beer. He caught Sam and Bobby sharing a look as he sat down at the table to join them. </p><p>“Okay, would one of you just say it!” Dean said exasperated by his family’s silence. </p><p>“Say what boy?” Bobby asked feigning innocence. </p><p>“‘I told you so.’ Castiel is lying to me and I don’t know why.” Dean revealed taking a sip of his beer. He almost laughed at how high Sam’s eyebrows raised. So high in fact they were almost completely hidden by his mop of a hairdo. </p><p>“So, uh, what happened?” Sam asked once his eyebrows finally descended back into view.</p><p>Dean coughed and began explaining the encounter. He was feeling stupid for defending Castiel for so long. He trusted him too much and now the guy just lies to his face and doesn’t want Dean to meet his girlfriend. Or friend. Probably girlfriend. He rubbed is face in frustration. “Anyways he said he’d ‘catch up’ with me tomorrow so we’ll see what he has to say.” He took another long swig of his beer trying to ignore the pity looks he was getting from Sam and Bobby.</p><p>“Listen kid, I’m sorry, I know he’s the best friend you’ve ever had. But maybe it’s not what we think. Maybe this girl is his girlfriend and he hasn’t had the chance to introduce you yet.” Bobby tried, but Dean knew he was just trying to spare his feelings. </p><p>“Yeah maybe, I’m gonna head off to bed. Goodnight guys.” Dean said avoiding their concerned looks as he made his way upstairs to the spare bedroom.  </p><p> </p><p>“Who do you think she really was Bobby?” Sam asked when they were sure Dean was gone to bed.</p><p>“I don’t know son, maybe another angel? I’ve seen a lot of people coming in and out of that guys house and I’ve never seen a single car.” Bobby supplied.</p><p>Sam considered it and said in a hushed voice, “You don’t think he could be one, do you?”</p><p>Bobby sighed and looked over to where Dean had just been sitting. “For his sake, I hope not. I hate even thinking about it but come on, his name is the name of an actual angel, he knows more about the damn things than every single book I own, and that kid has just never been normal.”</p><p>Sam nodded in agreement not saying anything else instead deciding to try and think of anything supernatural Cas has done that the Winchesters might have over looked. As much as he wanted Cas to be telling the truth he wasn’t so sure. The guy was family after all.</p><p> </p><p>Cas had stayed over at the Winchesters house on many late nights to help Sam cram for his exams. He was always there if he needed to talk to someone who wasn’t his brother, never about girls or relationships though because was amazingly some how more clueless than a 16-year-old Sam Winchester, he had learnt that the hard way.</p><p> </p><p>Sam came downstairs to find Castiel and Dean sitting on the couch watching and episode of doctor Sexy. He sat on the arm chair to the side of the room and rolled his eyes as Dr. Sexy, cowboy boots and all, successfully transplanted a woman’s face. “Come on guys, this is so fake!” Sam tried and looked over to where Dean had his arm around the back of the couch, on the side Cas happened to be sitting on. Sam sighed and rolled his eyes at that too, but he fought against the smirk rising on his lips. He always suspected there was something going on between those two, but Dean always denied it. </p><p>‘It’s not like that kid.’</p><p>‘He’s just a good friend Sammy.’</p><p>‘He could do so much better anyways.’</p><p>“It’s not supposed to be real Sammy, it just for entertainment.” Dean smirked at his little brother knowing he hated the nickname. “Anyways I gotta go, I told Bobby I’d help move some stuff in the shop. I’ll be seeing you.” Dean added, and as he stood so did Cas. </p><p>“Yeah I better get going too, thanks for having me Dean.” He smiled and for the third time in less than ten minutes Sam rolled his eyes. </p><p>“I was actually hoping you could stick around Cas. It’s just I have this maths assignment that I was hoping you could help me with.” Sam tried his sweetest smile so neither of the boys would suspect something was up.</p><p>Castiel turned to Sam with a very serious expression and said “Of course, Sam, anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask.” And this time it was Dean who rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Okay, you nerds have fun I’ll catch ye later.” Dean said as he exited the front door.</p><p>Sam let go of a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding. That’s the first part of his plan done. Dean doesn’t suspect a thing. </p><p>“Should I go wait in the kitchen while you get your materials?” Castiel asked with such a serious tone that Sam almost felt bad that he didn’t have a maths assignment for him.</p><p>“No, I just wanted to talk to you, and I said it was homework so Dean wouldn’t suspect anything.” Cas looked intrigued now.</p><p>What could Sam Winchester have to discuss in private with Cas behind Deans back. Although Sam didn’t know it Castiel’s mind went straight to the mission. Had Sam’s visions begun? That could be why Castiel was so surprised when the kid said.</p><p>“It’s about a girl at school and I want to ask her to the dance.” Sam looked nervous now, and it probably didn’t help that Castiel was just staring at him.</p><p>Once Castiel finally realised what was happening he managed to get out, “Wouldn’t you be better off asking your brother about this?”</p><p>Sam gave him a pleading look, “Please don’t tell him Cas, he’ll never let it go! I thought I’d ask you because I know you wont tease me but it’s okay if you don’t feel comfortable, I understand.” And with that he rose from the arm chair making his was to his room.</p><p>To both Sam and Castiel’s surprise he blurted out, “Sam, wait. You can talk to me.” Sam turned around with a beaming smile and looked back with a fearful one.</p><p>Sam told Castiel all about his crush, a girl called Sarah, and for almost an entire week Cas had been doing research on the local library computers and the local corner store teen magazine section. He figured if he got into the mind of a teenage girl, he could figure out the perfect way for Sam to court one. </p><p>One thing the angel hadn’t counted on was that not all teenage girls like the same stuff, and those ‘Teen magazines’ were really directed at a younger teen audience. He handed Sam a list one day of all the things he had to do and Sam trusted him 100%</p><p>That night Sam read the list while he sat on his bed. </p><p> </p><p>1.	Stare at her, let her know you’re interested. Make eye contact.<br/>
2.	Tease her. But don’t make fun of her.<br/>
3.	Be confident, let her know you’re strong. Don’t be cocky, believe in yourself.<br/>
4.	Tell her she’s beautiful. Make sure it’s sincere.<br/>
5.	Smell good. Don’t go overboard.</p><p> </p><p>Sam fell asleep that night dreaming about all the ways he was going to execute Castiel’s 5 step plan. When he woke up the next morning, he made a rush to his fathers’ room and stole cologne he could put on before he woke. The kid was only 16 how was he supposed to know a little goes a long way. He rushed to get dressed filled with nerves for the day, he threw on an old leather jacket that Dean had grown out of a few years ago and gifted to Sam. On a normal day Sam wouldn’t even consider wearing such a thing but today he had to be confident, like Dean.</p><p>He ate his cereal and waited at the front door for Dean to come down and give him a ride to school. When Dean saw him however, he did not receive the reaction he was hoping for. Dean laughed at his brother for his ridiculous outfit and his strong cologne, but Sam knew Dean was just being a jerk and he wouldn’t understand. Besides, today Sam had to be confident. </p><p> </p><p>1.	Smell good… check<br/>
2.	Be confident… check<br/>
3.	Stare at her…<br/>
Sam stared his little heart out during his first period, he was not being subtle about it. Every time Sarah caught him, she made a face and turned to speak with her friends. Sam, at this point thought it was working. Check.</p><p>4.	Tease her…</p><p> </p><p> Any chance he got he tried to tease her. It started in science as she worked on her project and her numbers were wrong, then in art he teased her about a piece she had been working on for almost a week. Then her started to tease her appearance, which maybe at 16 he should’ve known better. </p><p>Later after gym when Sam complimented her appearance, to show that he thought she was beautiful, she had had enough. “That’s it, Winchester,” she said poking her finger into his chest. Sam, being the naïve child he was, being coached by a naïve virgin angel, thought this was a good sign. </p><p>“Physical contact is good but let her initiate it.”</p><p>So, Sam smiled, and Sarah did not. In fact, she looked a bit angry. “I don’t know what has come into you today but you’re being so rude” She shouted, then added, “and you smell like my grandpa!” then she stormed off, leaving a confused and heartbroken Sam Winchester.</p><p>When Dean picked him up he knew something was wrong, but Sam wouldn’t tell him. When they got home Sam went straight to his room, so Dean called his only friend to try and get a little insight.</p><p>When Dean told Cas everything that happened, Cas came clean, like he always did. He told Dean about the list and how Sam asked him not to tell Dean because he was afraid Dean would laugh. He was right Dean would laugh, at first, but he would also help</p><p>Dean knocked on his little brothers’ door not waiting for an answer. Sam was lying face down on his bed and Dean was almost positive he had been crying. He sat down next to his little brother and placed a hand on his back.</p><p>“It’s okay Sammy, Cas told me.”</p><p>Sam turned his head to peak up at Dean expecting to see a knowing smirk, but instead he was met with a sad one. “You’re not laughing.” Sam stated.</p><p>He gave him a comforting smile, “No Sam I’m not.” He paused then said giving his brother a wider smile. “The only thing worth laughing about is that you went to Cas for relationship advice! That guy is clueless Sammy.”</p><p>And Sam even laughed at that because he was right Cas didn’t know anything about social queues. “I was afraid you would tease me about it.” He said sitting up wiping his wet eyes.</p><p>“I would’ve, I might even still,” Sam punched his arm at this. “Ow! But I’ll still help you. I’m your big brother, that’s my job. Now take a shower you reek, bitch.” </p><p>“Jerk.” Sam replied giving his brother a hug. </p><p>It was a day Sam Winchester would never forget, the day he was certain that he had two brothers who would always be there to help him. The memory of it always made him smile. </p><p> </p><p>____________________________________________________________________________<br/>
Dean was woken up the next morning by John and Sam fighting. It wasn’t something Dean wasn’t used to. He’d experienced his fair share of Winchester show downs. Before Dean would always stand in to save Sam any sort of abuse by his father but as Sam got older Dean realised sometimes the kid had to fight for himself. Especially when it came to John. Dean didn’t know why but those two always had a reason to fight. Well, he did know, kind of. Sam has always excelled in school and it was his dream to go to college one day. John has always excelled at being a stubborn man and almost always getting his way. </p><p>That was something Dean thought Sam had inherited from John, his stubbornness. That’s why when Sam decided he was going to school neither of them were willing to compromise. Dean had tried to defend Sammy’s choice but, he always ended up in the middle of the crossfire and he learned it was better for everyone if they just sorted it out between themselves. </p><p>It had been a while since he’d heard them fight like this, probably since the night Sam returned from Stanford. </p><p>Dean groaned as he rolled out of bed. His plans for today involved sorting things out with Cas, for once and for all, he wasn’t going to rest until he found out what was really going on.</p><p>As he exited his room, he found Bobby sitting on the top of the stairs, probably trying to stay out of world war three which was apparently happening in the kitchen. “Hey Bobby, what are Billy and Mr. Elliot fighting about now?” Dean asked taking a seat next to Bobby.</p><p>His uncle gave him a look. “Really? Billy Elliot.”</p><p>Dean shrugged, “Cas wanted to watch it, ‘It’s a classic’” he said with a sad smile. “Wanna go get some breakfast? Let these two hash it out?” </p><p>“Now you’re talking boy.” Bobby said rising from the stair. </p><p>So much for speaking to Cas. </p><p>Dean had all day, plus if they were fighting in the kitchen, he had no choice but to go out to get food.</p><p>They drove to a diner which wasn’t too far from the city, maybe they could go do a bit of shopping. A lot of his clothes have holes and blood stains on them, and he could never find a good method online on how to remove them.</p><p>“Your Daddy’s still going on about Sam leaving.” Bobby said sitting back in the booth holding a newspaper in one hand and a stained coffee mug in the other. “I tried to reason with him but anytime Sam comes around he loses it again.”</p><p>Dean sighed as he pushed his breakfast around on his plate. It wasn’t like him to not finish his food, but he just felt like he should be doing something else, you know to stop the apocalypse. But Bobby assures him there’s nothing to be done right now, everything is quite and with no leads and no word from Cas they’re at a standstill. “The always find something to fight about, they’re both too similar. I think Sam mentioned going back to college when this is over, if we survive.”</p><p>“I just keep thinking about Cas,” Dean started but stopped when he saw Bobby’s glare. </p><p>“I know it’s tough, especially for you but can you please stop talking about Castiel. Just for today maybe? Get him out of your mind for a bit, give yourself a chance to process.” Dean nodded. The problem was it was so hard, Cas had been a pillar in his life and now it was starting to fall. But for his own sake Bobby was right, he had to process this. </p><p>One day. He’d talk to Cas tomorrow.</p><p>“Of course Bobby, sorry.” Dean said reaching for his phone. Surely a case would do them all good. </p><p>____________________________________________________________________<br/>
They returned home three hours later Dean hauling bags of new clothes and Bobby holding books he’d bought from a witch he knew downtown.</p><p>“Well someone went on a shopping spree.” John muttered from the living room seeing Dean walk by with the bags. </p><p>“Retail therapy dad don’t knock it till you try it. I got some stuff for you and Sam too.” He said cautious about mentioning Sam’s name. “Where is the big guy anyways? You were having such a great chat when we left.” Dean said eyeing his dad.</p><p>“Very funny. He went out for a run.” John paused not making eye contact with his son, instead deciding to focus on a crooked picture frame that was hung above the tv. “I might’ve told him to not come back.” John confessed with a small nervous grin.</p><p>Dean rubbed his hand down his face. “Dad it’s not funny.”</p><p>John leaned back in his chair. “I know kid, but he just always knows how to make me angry.”</p><p>“Well with all the stuff that’s been happening these days John, I’d suggest you both find it in ye to suck it up now because you might not get the chance tomorrow.” Bobby said appearing in the doorway. </p><p>He was right, they all knew he was right, their jobs were too risky to be fighting about trivial stuff like this. Deans mind went to Cas as it tends to do these days. Their relationship is not great at the moment and he really wants to fix it, but he promised no Castiel today. “Will you take to Sam when he gets home?” Dean asked his father. </p><p>“I’ll try see if he bites my head off.” Just then Sam walks through the front door. “Speak of the devil and he shall rise.” John added when he saw his soon giving him a death glare through the doorway.</p><p>Dean shot him a warning look and John knew he had to make things right.</p><p>“Sit down boy I wanna talk to ya.” John said waving Sam into the living room.</p><p>“That’s our queue to leave.” Bobby said to Dean and they both moved to leave the room when John called Dean to stay. He sat back down on his previous chair and watched his father curiously.</p><p>“I just want to tell you boys I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve let you down when you were growing up, when I was drunk on the couch and you had to look after your baby brother. I’m sorry I’ve given you such a hard time about school Sammy. I think it’s just because it’s so far away and I know about all the shit that goes on when the moon comes out, and I guess I always just thought you were too far away. That if anything happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to save you.” He placed a hand on Sam’s arm and continued. </p><p>“I’m proud of you, of both of you and the fine young men you’ve become, it’s more than anything Mary or I could’ve asked for.” At the mention of their mother all three men tried to fight back the tears. “So, can we stop fighting and just be happy we’re together now, huh?” He gave them a weak smile through bleary eyes. “There’s some scary stuff coming and we Winchester boys gotta stick together right?” His two sons gave him weak laughs to match his weak smile </p><p>“I’m sorry too dad, and I forgive you, for everything.” Sam reached over and gave his father a hug. Dean gave a real smile at that. It was a sight he hadn’t seen in years. He wiped his wet eyes and said “What the hell.” as he jumped in on some hug action. </p><p>“Speaking of scary stuff, I’ve got us a case and I think it might be demon related.” Bobby interrupted.</p><p>_______________________________<br/>
Castiel went to every angel he knew who might have any information about Gabriel. The only angel he could trust at a time like this. 30 angels on his list and only one of them gave him any sort of lead. </p><p>“Talk to Balthazar” Duma, an angel previously in Gabriel’s charge before he went rouge, had told him. At first Castiel was going to ignore the mention of Balthazar but it was the only lead he had, as much as he did not want to speak with his brother.</p><p>Asking around for Balthazar proved to be a much easier task. He had been hiding out on a not so quaint yacht of the coast of Miami. None of the angels would give him any more details than that. As Castiel made is way through the, what seemed like, thousands of yachts he spotted one with it an anti-tracking sigil on the side. Castiel fought the urge to roll his eyes at this.</p><p>He knocked on what he assumed could be considered a front door. “Balthazar let me in. I know you’re in there. If you don’t want angels to find you maybe don’t paint sigils on the side of your boat.” </p><p>“Ah, but alas brother, the paint was so you could find me.” Balthazar said appearing behind Castiel. Cas turned to his brother and gave him an unamused look. “When a little birdie told me my favourite Castiel had returned after years of absence and requested to see me, I mean, how could I say no?” He placed a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and suddenly they were inside the boat. </p><p>The inside would warrant a much bigger outside but Castiel assumed his brother had used some grace to give this space a ‘Tardis effect’. “How long has it been since you were called to earth? Near seven years, right?” </p><p>Castiel shrugged his brothers hand off his shoulder. It had been a while since he had seen his brothers, but they still looked the same. Balthazar’s dirty blonde hair was cut shorter than it had been years before, but his face hadn’t changed a bit. “Yes, brother almost seven years. I apologies for not contacting you sooner but my superiors wouldn’t allow it.”</p><p>Balthazar gave him a knowing smirk as he handed his brother a cocktail which had emerged from thin air. “But they are allowing it now?” he questioned. “No need to lie Castiel I’ll pretend I believe you. No hard feelings. As we say en France c’est la vie mon cherri.” </p><p>“Of course, well if there are no hard feelings then I have to ask, do you know where our brother Gabriel is hiding?” Castiel noticed Balthazar’s happy façade start to crumble. “He trusted you Balth, more than anyone, please.”</p><p>Balthazar placed his glass on a bar Castiel hadn’t noticed before. “I can’t tell you.” Balthazar said after considering his options.</p><p>“Yes, you can. You trust me, right? I know why you ran, why Anna ran, why Gabriel ran. I know why I want to run.” Castiel said, blue eyes pleading with his brother.</p><p>“You want to run? Castiel, the perfect soldier, loyal to a fault, has begun to doubt the orders of which he is given? I thought your cause was just because your cause was from heaven.” Balthazar countered. He needed to be sure Castiel was on his side. He had no reason not to trust Castiel but the angel had always been naïve and loyal. </p><p>“I don’t believe the orders are from our father anymore. I fear heaven has been compromised. The things I have been asked to do, the things I have to ask of the Winchesters, I - ” He stopped he had to compose himself. “I apologise, I’m letting my emotions get the best of me.” He finished almost certain Balthazar would kick him out.</p><p>“No Castiel. You see that is the problem with heaven. We have always been told not to feel, to contain our emotions and to be composed warrior soldiers, fierce and unnerving. I will tell you where Gabriel is, I trust you to make the right decision brother. I can tell you’ve fallen for them as we have.” Balthazar said with a proud smile.</p><p>“Who?” The younger angel asked. </p><p>“The humans. You’ve felt it right? Love. I mean if you hadn’t, I don’t know why you would be here.” Balthazar said, and Cas noticed how the pink lights of the bar reflected off his brothers short hair.</p><p>“I haven’t fallen in love with a human, I have fallen in love with the earth and the life it holds.” Castiel almost believed the words he spoke. “and I must speak with Gabriel, their lives and our depend on it.” </p><p>Balthazar nodded, “I shall call him here for you brother.” And with that Balthazar vanished. Castiel took a seat on one of the plush purple bar stools. It could take a while for Balthazar to convince Gabriel to speak with him. It was likely the archangel knew Castiel was looking for him, he was choosing to ignore him, but Castiel was patient and willing to wait. </p><p>___________________________________________________________</p><p>“What has got you so excited boy?” Bobby asked watching Dean practically through the door of the auto shop. Dean smiled at his uncle but said nothing and got to work. Bobby frowned at this, strange kid.</p><p>The day went on with Dean constantly checking his phone and being overly nice to the customers. On one hand Bobby was glad, happy employees meant happy customers. But Dean was just a little bit too happy, for a man who was signed on for the closing shift on a Monday evening. Bobby considered asking Dean again, but he knew the boy wouldn’t give anything away. So, he decided to ask Sam when he got home. </p><p>Bobby knocked on the younger Winchesters door, not surprised to find him crouched over his laptop, he had been trying to perfect his college essay. Dean and Bobby had read the forth draft last night and assured him it was perfect, but Sam must have decided it just wasn’t quite right yet. </p><p>“Come on, you’re going to be blind if you spend any longer staring at that screen. Take your mind of it for a bit and help me with dinner.” Sam sighed and made sure he had his document saved and sent to his second email before he left. </p><p>“Sorry Bobby, I just need this to be right. The scholarship is so important to me, I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get it.” Sam said as he began cutting up the vegetables for their dinner.</p><p>“If you don’t get it, which I know you will, we’ll be here every step of the way, me, Dean and your Daddy.”</p><p>Sam scoffed. “Right, yeah like John would ever consider paying my fees.” </p><p>Bobby laughed at this, “Yeah you’re probably right, but hey, we’re not thinking about college right now, take your mind off it.”</p><p>Sam huffed and continued cutting the veg. Bobby knew he was re-writing his essay in his mind so he tried to change the subject.</p><p>“So, what’s got that idiot brother of yours in such a good mood? He’s been practically floating around the garage all day.” Sam smiled at this.</p><p>“Benny and I convinced him to ask Cas out. It’s been what? Almost 3 years and they’ve been pining after each other for the majority of it. There’s only so much fawning we could take. I’m guessing Cas must have said yes.” Sam finished and Bobby felt a grimace creep onto his face.</p><p>“I glad he’s finally out dating but I just wish it wasn’t with that Castiel character. He hasn’t ever sat right with me. He’s missing a few” Bobby said rotating his index finger beside his temple. </p><p>With a roll of his eyes said replied, “He’s not crazy, he has just lived a sheltered life, you know, crazy strict parents.” He gave Bobby a knowing look. “Anyways Dean asked him to a show downtown at eight, so if he’s working close, we won’t getting any details until after he comes home.”</p><p>_____<br/>
As Dean closed the shop his stomach fluttered with what felt like butterflies. He had taken a shower and changed into his date clothes. Today was the day, he was still surprised Castiel had agreed to come. Dean decided they’d go see a show in the town hall. He knew Castiel loved plays, and even though Dean would rather do anything else, he figured doing something Cas loved would please his friend. </p><p>He picked Castiel up at 7 pm on the dot. He’d deny it if anyone asked if he had parked a few houses down and waited for almost 10 minutes so he wouldn’t seem too eager. When he saw Castiel walking out his front door he could feel himself smiling wider. He hopped out of the car and ran to the other side of the impala and opened the door for Cas. </p><p>“M’lady,” he said jokingly tipping his imaginary fedora. Cas chuckled at that and Dean tried his hardest not to skip back to the drivers side. </p><p>“I’m very excited to see the show,” Cas said as Dean drove towards the town. “Is Sam not coming along then?”</p><p>Weird thing to ask on a date, Dean thought. But it made sense he’d ask about Sam, the both of them had been raving about seeing the show for weeks. “No, just you and me.” Dean coughed to clear his throat. He was glad the sun was setting; it might help to hide his blush. “I wanted it to be special, just us. Sam will probably go see it some other time. Maybe even follow in our foot steps and bring that girl he’s been crushing on.” He smirked at that. </p><p>Castiel sent him a curious glance. “Right, of course.” They drove the rest of the way with the silence filled with Dean telling Cas about everything that had happened at work.</p><p>“And then she just handed me a twenty-dollar tip! I said it was too much, but she insisted I take it for the great service. What can I say Cas, you bring out the best in me.” Dean finished as he pulled into the parking space. </p><p>Another strange thing to say Castiel noted. </p><p>“You look striking in that suit, Dean.” Cas said as they entered the hall. Dean was looking around for signs that would show them where their seats were. Cas was happy he didn’t miss the blush that covered Deans face. </p><p>“Thanks Cas, I forgot to mention but you look as handsome as ever.” He supplied with a wink. “Oh look, there. Seats 101-136 row G, that’s us. Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll get us a drink from the bar?” God knows he needed one. His nerves were getting the better of him and he didn’t know why. </p><p>Cas was his best friend. They spoke almost every day; he had no reason to be nervous. Cas liked him back, why else would he agree to go on this date. Dean let out a quick breath and made his way to the bar. This was gonna be fine.</p><p>The show lasted a total of three hours, intermission and all. Dean wanted to rip his eyes out at the cheesy plot but Castiel seemed to enjoy the show. As they walked back to the car Dean reached to grab Castiel’s hand. It was something he found the confidence to do in the darkness of the crowd while they were watching the show, and Cas seemed happy about it. So, when Cas took his hand without question as they walked out, he could barely contain his joy. </p><p>Dean had one last thing he wanted to check of his mental ‘to-do during the date’ list. Kiss Cas. He figured he’d kiss him after he walked him to his front door. </p><p>“Thank you so much for bringing me to see the show Dean, I know it’s not something you enjoy.” Cas said as they pulled up to his house. He reached for the handle and Dean panicked, it was now or never. </p><p>He grabbed Castiel’s arm and said, “Castiel wait,” and Cas turned at the use of his full name. “I’m just glad you had a good time.” He reached his hand up to Castiel’s stubbled check and watched as his eyes widen slightly as he sucks in a breath of air. Dean leaned in and closed the gap between them, his warm lips meeting slightly ajar chapped ones. Castiel reached his hands up to Deans shoulders and…</p><p>He pushed away? </p><p>What?</p><p>Dean opened his eyes not expecting to be met with a pitiful look from Cas. </p><p>Oh no. He felt his heart drop in an instant. This is so embarrassing. Sam and Benny were wrong Cas didn’t feel the same way!</p><p>“I’m so sorry Dean, but we can’t do this. You’re my best friend and I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry.” He said and rushed out of the car to his home. </p><p>Dean felt like a fool and he sat staring at the seat Cas had just vacated longer than he would ever care to admit. </p><p>Not only was he and idiot, in a stupid suit but he just kissed his best friend and probably ruined one of the best friendships he has ever had. Just great. </p><p>He returned home about an hour after the incident, he had been driving his baby around town trying to figure out what he should do. </p><p>He didn’t want to lose Castiel’s friendship, but he wouldn’t be surprised if his friend never wanted to see him again. </p><p>He sneaked into his room, aware that Sam had probably figured out where he had been. He wasn’t ready to be confronted about his ‘date’.</p><p>He stripped off his suit and stuffed it into his closet. He didn’t want to see the thing any longer than he had to. He was already considering buying a new one so next time he had to wear a suit he wouldn’t be antagonised with some post traumatic stress. </p><p>He pulled on an old band t-shirt his father passed him down and some light blue plaid pyjama pants. He made himself a fort beneath his blankets, willing himself not to cry. </p><p>After what felt like hours of self-wallowing, Dean heard a knock at the front door. He glanced at the digital clock which sat on his bedside table and saw it flashing 02:26. Maybe his father had returned and forgotten his key. </p><p>He climbed out of his bed to let his father in, and almost squeaked when he was met with same blue eyes he had been thinking of for the last few hours. </p><p>He had considered what he would say to Cas the next time he saw him. </p><p>‘I’m sorry, but I think I’m in love with you.’</p><p>‘I’m so sorry but I’m not sure we should be friends anymore, it’s too hard,’</p><p>‘Please just pretend it never happened, I don’t want to lose you.’</p><p>But Dean wasn’t expecting to see Castiel so soon. Not until maybe a few days, when Dean finally got the courage to call his friend, maybe-friend? Right now, not 3 hours after the incident, Dean couldn’t say a word.</p><p>“Can we talk Dean? Maybe out here?” Castiel said gesturing to the porch steps. Dean just nodded and followed him and sat beside him. </p><p>It was pitch black outside the only light coming was from the faint orange streetlight across the road. Dean hoped that his father wouldn’t come home at this moment. </p><p>“I’m sorry.” </p><p>Dean looked up at this. That’s what he was supposed to say.</p><p>“I’m not very good at following social queues. My ‘people skills’ are ‘rusty’ some might say.” Castiel said giving Dean a weak smile, making sure to use air quotes when needed. Dean smirked back. </p><p>Of course, Dean would mess up and Cas, the caring crazy guy he was would come to Dean and apologise.</p><p>“Don’t apologise Cas, I’m the one who read the signs wrong. I don’t want this to change anything between us. I can get over my silly little crush and we can just stay friends, we don’t need to mention it to anyone, you know, pretend it never happened!” Dean knew he was rushing his words and he wasn’t sure if he could actually get over his ‘silly little crush’, but he was sure as hell going to try, because if Castiel would take him back as a friend, he could live with some unrequited feelings.</p><p>“I would love to stay friends Dean.” Castiel’s eyes looked soft. “You’re the only friend I’ve ever had and I’m sorry if I lead you on. I wasn’t aware you thought we were on a date.”</p><p>Dean grimaced at that. “Well, hey, we’ll just forget about it okay. It never happened.” Castiel leaned in suddenly and wrapped Dean up in a hug. </p><p>“Thank you.” Dean heard him mutter into his shirt. Leave it to Clueless Cas to thank Dean after everything he had done.</p><p> </p><p>_______________________________________<br/>
“So get this.</p><p> </p><p>____________<br/>
After an hour of talks Balthazar had returned without the archangel. Cas pleaded with him to try again and Balthazar gave him his word that he would. But Gabriel, always the trickster, made himself scarce. Balthazar couldn’t track him down again, he was good at hiding, he had been practicing since the fall of Lucifer. </p><p>With the promise that his brother would find the archangel Castiel decided to return home. He had to check on the Winchesters, maybe even apologise to Dean.</p><p>With a flutter of his wings and a soft thud, he was back in his home. He clicked his fingers and the lights came to life, shining a yellow glow over his home. Castiel tried to remember every little detail. He wouldn’t have much</p>
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